I can give you two immediate answers and then flesh it out for you:
1. I’m totally unqualified
2. Lacking in solid virtue
Back in the day, we hear of men and women of renown who God chose because of their solid character, their fire and dedication. Katherine Kuhlman comes to mind, Billy Graham, David Wilkerson, people of tremendous character and commitment, people we all look up to for what God has done through them.
What should my daily bread be this morning but a stunning confirmation:
“God can do all things and His omnipotence will be all the more manifest if the tool is poorer.”
His whole approach in these last days is that, “I can do anything with a vessel that is willing.”
There’s no doubt in my mind that had I yielded myself up to Him at 20, instead of 40, there would be much more fruit from my life. But even that choice, I call ‘His’ choice because He came to me and knocked me off my horse in His timing, deliberately so everyone could relate to the mistakes I made in my life.
I was a B student in school a drop out at 17 and foolishly rushed into a marriage with an older man. That only lasted 3 pitiful years, I didn’t know how to keep a house or cook, and in Chicago I managed to loose 21 jobs in 2 years!
When I turned 21 in 1969, I moved to San Francisco, studied the occult for 12 years, lived on the fringes of the counter culture, had many relationships, used people for my own ends, was selfish and vain, climbing the professional photography ladder in advertising, getting what I needed regardless of others, ended a pregnancy, married the wrong man and had 4 children with him, children I made a lot of serious mistakes in raising, despite ‘my’ best efforts, then after 6 years of celibacy at 45 remarried the right man, and even though our behavior was above reproach, left a wake of scandal behind us. I don’t want to make you sick so I won’t go any further. Suffice it to say I was the LAST choice for the job of sharing His pristine character and love for you. I looked up to the clean cut prayer leaders and teachers in my non-denominational church and always felt inferior…”I’ll never be good enough to do what they do.”
Everyday I am reminded of another wild frontier the Lord needs to conquer in my personality. But I’ve confessed, repented, and with the Lord’s help, learned vital life lessons. I don’t ever want to go back to who I was then.
I can’t even say I am stable in virtue, any day the Lord could remove my protection and I would seriously fall. So you see there’s no virtue there at all, except perhaps, I said ‘yes,’ and keep saying ‘yes’ every morning…but even that is His doing, His grace.
People visit our Still Small Voice youtube channel and think I’m bragging about my relationship with the Lord. Oh my!!!! Nothing could be further from the truth.
I am speaking and sharing openly how He relates to me under the yoke of obedience. I try to make it clear just how immature and selfish I can be so you can recognize my character flaws and see that God really does choose the weak and foolish things of the world to confound the wise and learned.
You couldn’t have found a worse specimen for this job and that’s precisely why He gave it to me.
Now, the consequences of this is simple, YOU COULDN’T BE ANY WORSE THAN ME! So if He can use me…He can use YOU. Period, end of story. There’s no excuse, there’s no sin that disqualifies you, if you have repented. He has washed you clean in His Blood and you can have the very same relationship with Him that I have, and even much better. I don’t have an ability, I’ve been given an ability by Him.
That’s the whole point of heart dwellers, with God, ALL things are possible. Once He lives in your heart and you are yielded to Him, He can use you for anything.
So the final answer is that if He can use someone like me, with my flighty temperament, lack of education, physical and mental weaknesses, He can use you. He wanted to prove that anything is possible with a soul that is willing and His Grace. That means that no matter how lowly you are He can use you.
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