For many months now at Still Small Voice, the Lord has been teaching us about prayer and obedience; how it is needful to our greatest benefit and most pleasing to Him. He has asked me now to share two personal stories that will underline to you who have been left behind the IMPORTANCE of Trusting Him in both prayer and obedience.
Just for a little background, the Lord has allowed me to stay under the effects of Rheumatoid Arthritis, insulin-dependent Diabetes and Fibromyalgia for over 20 years. These were all being treated by doctors and “regular” medications – until 2 1/2 years ago, when my husband lost his job and I lost my medical insurance. Within 3 months, all of my meds (I had been taking 9 different pills a day) had been used up – and I didn’t know what to do about it. We had NO money to purchase insurance, not possible.
So, I sat with Him one day and asked Him just what to do?? He told me to drop the pills, cold. And Trust Him. (Do NOT do this without totally knowing that it IS Jesus telling you this, or being able to Trust Him, doing it out of faithful obedience, not blind “bravery” or anything else of the flesh!)
Within days, He provided me with free insulin, and never allowed any of the pain/symptoms of the other diseases to rise up – for an entire year. However, January 1st of the following year (just over a year ago from now) I started getting a minor pain in my right forefinger…and by March of the year I was suffering more and more. It was a slow progress, it was within my ability to “handle” as long as I was trusting Him and allowing Him to fully lead me – and He let me clearly know that it was ALL being used for the benefit of bringing souls to Him for His redemption…
So with this first story – here I was, being put to a “trust test” more severe than I had yet been given. I’m going to add in here a portion of my personal journal, and a word the Lord gave me afterwards:
I woke up around 10:30am – not feeling so well. Laid back down, slept and woke up at 2:00pm – in what I thought was a major sugar low. Yuck… I was sweating and terribly dizzy. I called my husband (literally called him on my cell phone – there was no way I was going to be able to get out of bed on my own…) to bring me up a glass of chocolate milk (the mix of sugar and protein from the milk is what I like to use to come up from a low). When he did, I sat up with his help and drank it down. Not down there 3 minutes, it all came back up…sigh. I HATE to vomit!! But I WAS thankful, Lord, that the vomit was sweet not bitter/sour like normal…lol. You are SO sweet to me, even in illness!
Well…the symptoms got worse. I opened my left eye and couldn’t focus it, the entire left side of my head was numb and there was a roaring in my left ear – sounded like a freight train! I asked my husband to call Clare and Ezekiel – I couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough, nor focus enough to find their name in my phone. They prayed over me a while, and I could tell You were getting things under control…so we said goodbye.
Thank You, my Jesus, SO much for the perfect peace that wrapped around me all during this – not a moment of fear/should I go to the hospital?/panic – NOTHING. Ezekiel checked it out with You (in Bible Promises) if I SHOULD go to the hospital – and Holy Spirit confirmed that You had me in Your hands, that it would pass.
Now, I lay back down on the bed – symptoms still very much there, but YOUR peace in my heart. I lay there praying in tongues for about a half hour – and You gently put me back to sleep.
I called Ezekiel back after I woke up again at 5:00pm, because the roaring in my ear had reduced, but not gone away entirely. He prayed/bound and clapped his hands several times, loudly (according to HS directions) and said I might feel a pop, but that it would leave – and it has. I’m back to normal – lol…whatever THAT is!
Jesus – You are SO kind to me. I believe the enemy was trying to push me into a stroke – either real, or imagined. Either way, if I had panicked and gone running to the hospital, it would have encouraged it all, I just know it. Not to mention the thousands of dollars of debt it would have plunged us into! I say it again, and again, and again: Jesus, I trust in You! YOU are my Love, my Savior, my King!
The Lord indeed did tell me later that this was the plan: to bring on a stroke, and send us deep into debt again with the hospital bills, as I still have no medical insurance. Later that night, after devotions I felt Him calling me, to speak to me:
Did You want to talk to me, Lord?
You have been through a lot in the past few days, My Dove, haven’t you? I have been here all along – and yes, I did step back a bit to let the demons try you. I needed your obedience for Clare’s sake. I knew you would rush to help as soon as you realized how important it was. (He’s referring to a different matter here, one I needed a correction over.) But, I needed to also make the point to you that obedience – swift obedience is vital right now. As S____ was saying, you all need to band tightly together until I come for you. The darkness that swirls around your head would frighten you, should you have even an inkling of it – and so I hide this from you all. S____ can see it to a point – but even she does not see the majority. There is no need. Just know that the enemy DOES quake in fear of you all right now. You are NOT “going according to his plan” and falling down in misery and groveling around the ground. Instead, My Pure Bride, the Spotless One whom I Love is standing tall and straight, looking them in the eye and telling them – forcefully, I might add, just where to go back to. This was in no way his plan…and he’s confused and angry.
The message to Clare tonight is important – you must all band together, and raise each other up in love and compassion.
It is now about 3 months later, and a similar situation came up.
By now, it is a typical, daily need to have someone pray over me in order to have the strength/lack of pain enough to get out of bed and function. This is part of my cross, and I understand and bow my will to it. But a week ago, new and different symptoms woke me up in the middle of the night: severe chest congestion. Like most would, I immediately wondered if I was coming down with the flu, or other similar illness. I went to prayer.
Now, to explain a part of my relationship with the Lord – He has FIRMLY established a system of communicating with me according to numbers I see, particularly numbers on my computer or clock. #1 stands for Papa God. #2 stands for Jesus. #3 stands for Holy Spirit. #5 is a head’s up – trouble/pain/demonic attack is on the way. This is NO set of coincidences, but rather a constant flow of messages to me, all through my day. And this particular night, every place I turned I was seeing 5’s.
Things were rapidly growing worse – I could feel my body growing sicker by the minute. I called one of my prayer partners and after praying over me, the Lord told us that this indeed HAD been an attack. The “plan” was to give me an illness similar to SARS, get me to a hospital and even on a ventilator (that was the end goal) – but certainly to render me down and out. The enemy wasn’t happy that I had been obedient to the Lord in prayer, in witness and in producing some important written compilations for the left behind and wanted me out of the way!
The Lord gave me the following instructions: I was to call for prayer whenever He signaled me, to take 4,000 units of Vitamin C and copious amounts of water, and rest in Him. Period. This was a new route of obedience for me: I was being asked to “risk” my health/life on “seeing” a series of numbers on a clock, to take extremely simple measures to heal my body – and again: to totally trust Him. Would I do it?
Who can say “no” to such a Savior?! I carefully followed His instructions, sometimes having to call for prayer in the middle of the night, sometimes having to call two, even three times in close succession. Each time, the symptoms that were there at the start of the call would lower, and relief would come. Each day, my body improved a little more until finally, after about 5 days of this, I am well again. It never went further down my lungs than the very top, never made my throat sore longer than I could get to prayer, never clouded my lungs with pain or mucus that didn’t IMMEDIATELY leave again upon renewed prayer.
You may ask…what was the point?? Why didn’t Jesus simply heal me and be done with it? Ahh…for many, sweet and wonderful reasons!
Because I was obedient, I am again back to my normal health, without the intervention of expensive, painful and invasive medical treatments, tests and doctors.
Because I was obedient, this demonically instigated illness was driven away in a few short days, instead of the potential weeks that were intended. Bear in mind that illness is NOT of the Lord, but rather demons.
Because I was obedient, He allowed me to watch Him ministering to me with angels, oils of healing, cloths of unguent. He allowed me to see Papa come and sit by my side, caressing my head as the Lord placed these healing items on my body (in the spirit). He opened my sense of smell (in the spirit) further, and now I can often tell just Who is near me: Papa, Jesus, a variety of saints and others from the Cloud of Witnesses.
In short, because I was obedient, He has drawn me even closer to Himself and taught me to hear Him even more clearly than before. This in itself is a wonderful thing! But there is also an important lesson for those left behind. The more you put aside your own reasoning and trust Him; the more you learn to listen and believe that He IS speaking to you; and then the more you obey Him quickly, without question and without doubt – the more able He will be to protect you, heal you, lead you, sustain you in these years of Tribulation.
I’m am praying that these two humble examples will give you Hope and Confidence that the God Who loves you more than you can ever, ever imagine – is willing and fully able to save you out of ANYTHING the enemy tries to bring upon you, if you will only put your entire trust in Him.